A quick note

Hey babe I would just like to say i am grateful for you, as of late we have had a few rough patches and i think it has helped us in a way, just know that no matter what i am always here for you, and i hope that you will always be there for me. The other night while star gazing, and we were cuddling surrounded by a million blankets i thought to myself, this is what i want to be able to do forever. So it is what i shall do forever. 

One day i want to be able to look back on all the good times we had in high school and forget all the stupid fights, and bickering, and think how much we loved each other then, and how we have changed but we still love each other just as much. I want to spend my time with you having random adventures like stargazing, and getting wrapped saran wrap and getting kidnapped. 

I love you for all that you are and all that you do for me. You are a sweet person, and and amazing boyfriend, you made the entire male student body of pine view step up there game :) I am happy you are mine and that after  fate tried a few times to get us together it finally happened.

Safety First

i'd like to make you feel safe, both with my love, and a state of the art alarm system...similar to the one kevin had in Home alone and home alone 2: lost in new york

Monday Pinning

Pinterest is my latest addiction, so i have decided to spend one day a week to share my lovely finds on this website. Today i was pinning a lot of house related things and decided that is exactly what i wanted to share on this here blog. The one thing i have been wanting to do my whole life is decorate my very own home with a craft room all to my self. Tons of lists, and charts will be scattered throughout my house, but under those things will be a pretty place i decorated all on my own. But seriously are those things not to die for? I <3 classy things. deal with it.

It's Raining

Fine take the umbrella...

Sunday Funday

You know those days where you wake up feeling great and ready to go do just about anything, you get all excited for the day.... this was not one of those days. The above picture is from yesterday when it was one of those days. Today was a day where you wake up and can barely open your eyes, you are achy and you don't want to move, but me being the brave sole i am got up stretched, and walked out of my room. Then everything went black, i woke up some time later. decided to return to my bed and haven't left since. 

today is going to be a day full of hot apple cider, books, and a twilight marathon in preparation for the release of breaking dawn this weekend. Possible some crafts. we'll see. I love Sundays for the simple fact that it is the only day i can sleep in, but it is also the only day i don't see this guy. I find that rather upsetting for the simple fact that he makes me happy.

Saturday Afternoons

Lets walk the dog

The TV

Its a joint decision, but lets throw eachother bones every once and a while

On Sundays

We don't have to do ANYTHING

Fallen From Grace

Our shortlived happiness fell apart.  For that I am sorry.  I only want to be able to be independent and it seemed like you were telling me i couldn't.  I Love you a ton and this will work out I'm sure of it.  I just need you to understand that for me to be independent you can't be telling me what I can and cannot do.  I love you insanely much and I can't believe this happened already, but tomorrow, right after school (im not going to crossfit) we will work this out over tea and a skyline view of st george.  I am an independent person,  I just love you a ton.  We both have our own interests and our own friends.  We always will.  That doesn't mean that we cant have them both and be together the way we always are.   You are the greatest dont ever forget it.

Thriller

This lovely man took me to see thriller, and i do have to say it was rather awesome. 

we laid in our seats cuddled in a blanket and people  zombie watched.
then as the performance began we watched.

the girl next to me laughed and snorted every time she did.

and she laughed through the whole thing 

It was still so fun. i love date nights with him.

then he took me to maverick bought me my favorite f'real

then asked me to be his, again, and i said yes of course

since this all began again it has been different i'm not sure if its good or bad

i guess we will see, one thing  i know for sure is that i love him.

Christmas morning

French toast, yeah thats what i thought. Nom Nom Nom

Our car

I hope you like Jeeps

When It's Cold Outside

I'll pump the gas. you just chill inside.

Greatest Del Taco run ever.

Read the title.

Beginning of a new era

This has been the worst week of this relationship bar none.  However things have taken a turn for the better.  Things are changing.  Things that should have never been changed are being restarted.  I have a good feeling about this.  You should too.  I miss you dearly.  My one and only.  My partner in crime.  My light in the dark.  My love.  My hiking partner.  My driving partner.  My best friend.  You are all of these things to me.  I will do anything to make this right.  I may not have the words to say that will make you happy right now.  I just want you to know that I appreciate every minute I have with you.  Every minute I don't have you is a minute I miss out.  We have forever to be together, lets make it count.

On The Road

hope you like the scenic route

Breath of fresh air

It's been too long since a day like today rolled around.  It proved to me what I have thought all along.  I do in fact miss you like crazy and for good reason.  I'm so grateful to have you around.  Even when you mention the guy I want to kill at times I overlook it because it is me who is with you.  I may not be with you officially yet but I will do anything to get to that point.  I have missed you like crazy and hope that we can have more days like today, yes awkward car rides and all.  It seems like this relationship is similar to a train.  It was chugging on a long full speed when someone in the station turned the tracks and set it barreling off into the abyssal maw of a volcano, but right when the worst is about to happen, the train is diverted back onto its original path.  I know its a pretty interesting metaphor and might be exaggerated but at times I can be a jealous person.  I openly admit to it and its a flaw Ill always have to work on.  I also don't open up to people but that is a story for another day.  Thanks for everything you really are the greatest.  All stupid deviations aside, you do a hell of a lot for me and ill be forever grateful for it.

Forever Yours,
Haden James Goebel

The Radio

I wont mess with your presets

Sometimes

We can just stay up until we fall asleep

your birthday

I hope you like crepes. i will be making them. you're welcome

Relieved

I disagree with you.  I can name many more who also disagree. GOOD DAY.

A little worried.

I love you babe.  You are amazing never forget it.  You are the greatest person I have ever met.  The way you light up every room you enter, the way you smile that makes people melt in front of you, Your eyes that could keep even the most interesting man in the world captivated.  You are truly an amazing person.

The Bathroom

Do your best to keep the seat down.

Great quote. It applies.

I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.

I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me.

I love you for that part of me you bring out.

- Roy Croft

Reasons why we should work this out.

1.  My empty box :(
2. We work well together.
3. I love you.
4.  Even though you have been called someones dream girl in the past, I actually mean it.  I've dated many people.  They all suck.
5.  You are the bees knees.  I will also protect you from bees.
6.  I am the guy you always wanted.  You are the girl I have always wanted. My logic is irrefutable.
7.  You are the most amazing person on the planet.  I appreciate you insanely much.
8.  I love you.
9.  We have much to accomplish on our list.
10.  Who cares what other people think?
11.  You are a bad ass.
12.  You are funny and I love your silly jokes :)
13.  We both have better things to do then deal with people screwing up our shit.
14.  We both dont like this regardless of what people (who don't exactly exist) have told you.
15.  I am working on a story that you need to read and I'd love to be dating you when you do.

At the movies

you can share my sour punch straws. you better act fast though

So as im typing this dane is giving me a ton of grief for caring so much.  I love you insanely much.  I hope you know that.  I opened up to alex if that tells you what point im at and despite having shitty advice he did make some good points.  I hope your mom accepts this because I'm ready to bring her f'in flowers if it does any good. I'm not happy nor will I ever be without you, but i'm working on it for you.  Listen to Swing Life away by rise against.  It applies.  for future reference don't do crossfit even if you are angry, it doesnt relieve stress.


Forever yours,
Haden James Goebel


P.S.  I love you.
 :) xOVER9000

Forever

I've promised myself. Now I want to promise you. While I can't do something extravagant every day. I promise I'll always be there for you. I promise to do all the little things. Forever and ever. I miss you. Que blink 182 song.

Laundry

We'll have a joint laundry system, much like a checking account. I will wash your clothes with mine, and you can wash mine with yours

Release the Kraken

I love you . Have a swell night.  Lets get this resolved ASAP :)

Waiting in the parking lot

As I waited in the parking lot to complete yet another task that was required of me today,  a song that reminded me of you came on the radio.  The song is Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls.  It made me think of that days we spent in Zions, hiking, laughing, having a good time, enjoying nature.  More importantly it reminded me of days when I treated you better.  I want whats best for you.  If that's not me then so be it.  I realized that there are things more important then my personal comfort.  For example right now im sitting on my laptop venting via the internet.  Possibly the least productive thing on the face of the earth.  However even though the space has given me time to hangout with my friends and reacquaint myself with my school and my friends.  It's just not the same.  It's very lackluster.  Nothing is AS good as it was last year.  My friends are the same.  My schedule is a little hectic at times but even when I fill that void with my closest friends it still seems like I'm missing something.  I don't know if you feel the same way.  Its like eating the most deliciously fresh bagel on the planet, but when that bagel is gone and you are left with packaged mass produced bagel from your generic super market, its just not as good.

Forever Yours,
Haden James Goebel



PS. I realize that my bagel reference was probably the lamest thing on the planet, but I am in fact eating a bagel right now so it applies, because once these Einsteins bagels are gone, what else do I truly have?

The worst part.

The worst part is not knowing.  Waiting, not wanting to have to see you "with" another guy.  It kills me when you joke about it.  I'd do anything to have you back right now.  Name your price.  If it means I get the opportunity to be nicer and to continue where we left off (in a better way of course) I'll do anything if it happens soon :(

Day 1

I tried my very hardest.  I had the greatest idea.  However after all my labors I'm still left with knowing what I'm missing out on, knowing that you will go after whichever guy you want, while I'm left hoping and praying (yes praying) that you will realize that you want to be with me.  I'll continue my struggle until there is nothing left for me to do.  I hope you come around.  I miss you.

When The Credits Role

I will never clap. promise. I'll roll my eyes at people who do

My Ultimatum

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzAsBFj4fR8

This song makes me think of you.  I know you feel like I'm not what you want and that you have been convinced that you need to play the field.  I love you too much to lose you like this.  You mean too much to me.  I want my best friend back.  I dont care what the cost I want her back. :(

the first night.

The first night we had been dating I was excited. Everything was new.  I had the most beautiful girl I had ever met interested in me.  I was willing to anything and everything to make you happy.  It showed because this beautiful girl had decided I was the guy for her.

This first night away from you has been terrible.  I feel like something big is missing in my life and I can't replace it.  I know this might sound corny or weird but this missing piece really hurts me.  I know you want me to be less attached the way I wanted you to be not so long ago.  However being attached isn't what I'm feeling right now.  I freaked out yesterday because I lost the biggest part of my life and didn't get a chance to say how I felt about it.  I wanted to talk you out of it.  Instead I made it worse.  This first night I've realized after two hours of stargazing, a long walk around santa clara, and the hour I have managed to actually sleep that you are too good for me.  You deserve someone better then me.  But I believe that I can be that guy if you let me.  I wish you and your family would give me another chance to make this right before I truly do lose you.  I guess I'm just recording my thoughts with these posts but It's only because you don't want to talk to me about them.  I really just want my confidant back.



Forever Yours,
Haden Goebel

My 1 month goals.

1.  Rekindle the love that we share.
2.  Get you that muffin and tea I owe you.
3.  Tell you how I feel about you every day.
4.  Tell you AND show you that you are the most important person in my life.
5.  Finish my sinister plan :)    Actually its not sinister I just miss using that word in a sentence.
6.  Communicate with you VIA blog since technically we aren't dating anymore,  I think that this blog will serve both of our purposes without infringing on your time away.
7.  Right you a letter and mail it to you.
8.  Not be too much.
9.  Show you the reasons you loved me in the first place.

I want you to know that I will always be there for you.  You are truly my other half and that missing piece in my life is shows itself in everything I do.  I'm glad you are happy and that you are doing what you want to do.   I've always loved that fight in you,  that feistiness.  I know your family and friends will probably read this and think I'm insane.  That I'm attached.  That I'm not whats best for you.  Taylor you are kind, you are smart, and you are important.  As much as that probably doesn't belong in this post I think that it accurately depicts how we should treat others.  I'm glad you have introduced me to all kinds of new things, got me out of my shell essentially.  I know that I'm probably out of line by writing this but I have so much on my mind It's been impossible to go to sleep.  I'm making a change for the better.  You have taught me more in nine months than I have learned in 11.25 years of schooling.  Taylor you made this blog to record our story.  A story that is far from over.  A story that I'm willing to continue when you are ready.


Forever yours,
Haden James Goebel

In the end.

Today I realized that the culmination of everything I have done in my life these past nine months has all be towards one goal.  That one goal meant more then anything.  More than football. More than baseball.  More than a lot of things.  I realized that there are three important things in life.  Love, Family & Friends, and yourself.  For the longest time I believed that the most important thing in my life was myself, getting a chance to play big league baseball, becoming successful.  I took you for granted, expecting you to be with me at all times, and neglecting you when I wanted to do something other then what I had expected of you for so long.  I understand now that Love narrowly comes above family and friends on this list.  I know that we both mean the world to each other and I know that your family and friends want whats best for you.  I want whats best for you.  I know that if I'm to ever be with you again I'll have to change things.  I know I'm going to have to treat you like the world while also treating you like a friend.  I feel like after deep contemplation and many talks with my family I feel like I can be that person.   I know we both need to do our on thing and have our own lives because I feel the same way.  However I dont want to without you.  You have grown on me and while I know the word attached is thrown around a lot and sometimes in a negative way,  I'm not attached.  I'm in love, and with that said I don't want to see this end the way it is right now.


         Forever yours,
          Haden James Goebel

This blog is officially being taken down until further notice.

Saurday

Is date night. DO IT.

Other Men

I may look at the menu, but i will never order. if you catch my drift.

Senior Pictures :)

oh my goodness i am so happy i finally got these Hayley Bradshaw did my senior pictures and it was so much fun, she is such an amazing photographer. there are a lot but i love them all so i had to put them all up. most of them duplicates with different edits but i love them all. thank you so much again hayley :) she did amazing with me as the awkward model.